A "mostly" humorous look at real events - short stories, satire, and the vagaries of life. Join me on the couch. The doctor is wacked, but in. "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine..." Proverbs 17:22a
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Observational Twitter 15
"Friends are like potatoes; if you eat 'em, they die." Unknown Origin
Unfamous Observation:
"Now how could I POSSIBLY improve on that?" Robynn Reilly
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
My First Flame...And I Ain't Talkin' Boyfriends....

"He has no enemy, you say;
My friend your boast is poor,
He who hath mingled in the fray
Of duty that the brave endure
Must have made foes.
If he has none
Small is the work that he has done.
He has hit no traitor on the hip;
Has cast no cup from perjured lip;
Has never turned the wrong to right;
Has been a coward in the fight.
~Anastasius Grun
May you be brave today and go forth doing good and bringing joy!
For Humor:
This one just gave me the chuckle I needed: :-)
"He has no enemies but is intensely disliked by his friends." Oscar Wilde
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank; people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis it is between you and God It was never between you and them anyway.
Monday, April 6, 2009
My "Bo".....The Senior Photos....My Thoughts
If your babies have grown up, you'll understand the bitter sweetness of it. If not, it may feel like years before you find yourself in my shoes. And I know mothers always say, "Treasure it. It flies by." But it's true. And it did.
I was older when my babies came so I knew that time warps and folds ever faster as the years progress. And yet I am, even now, caught off guard.
I savored the fragrance of sweet baby heads. I joyed in the sheer heft of chunky cherub legs. I reveled in little arms lifted for embraces and cries of, "Hold you! Hold You!" And I believe with all my heart you will never be loved by any human, through time immemorial, the way you are loved by your baby or toddler. You are the world. And then the world expands.
And you find yourself staring down a telescoping road of time wondering at the speed of the journey. You stumble over the fork in the road that will be THEIR path. And you gaze forward, imagining.
I am prepared for this day.
I am devastated by this day.
I am overjoyed at this day.
I love who my daughter is becoming and am delighted to see God's grace and shaping in her life. Her stubborn streak infuriates me and comforts me. She will not be blown by every ill wind as her mother has so often been. She is stronger. She is prepared. She is more deeply rooted. She, who, at nearly 18, has never been kissed and does not date. She, who waits on God's perfect person and timing. She, who laughs readily and easily, and loves deeply.
She is ready.
And I? I will attend her and shake out the train of her future as it adorns her; not ready, and yet, not willing to hold her back. Go, my darling girl. Seek God's guidance in everything. Give Him all you are. Remember your gifts come from His hand. I pray His blessing on you. He will give you all you need and perfect his beauty within you.
I love you with my whole heart.
The preceeding photos are used by permission from an enchanting photographer, our dear young friend, Miss Sally Parish. You can contact her here. She is the sweetest young woman and gave us an incredible amount of time shooting "Bo's" photos on location. She is truly gifted and if you are in the Central Valley area of California, I would highly recommend you contact her for any photography work. Thank you, Sally, for the time we spent with you and the lovely way you captured our dear girl. We love you.
Copyright 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
POST 100 - Ma & The Younguns Take on The City - Day 2
"Hey, that cat box we just bought is still in the trunk. We can throw our junk in there and use it for a suitcase," intones said daughter.
"I'm not walking through the lobby carrying a CAT box," I protest.
"Who cares? They'll never see us again. Who'll know?"
No one, I'm sure.
So here's a picture of our Samsonite Luggage Cat Box. It carried all our c-rap and we put a pillow on top - oh yeah, we had a pillow for the car - and schleped it right through the lobby like the back water, two teeth sportin', overall wearin', knuckle draggers we are.
Hike the hills and take pictures of places like these. Don't linger too long with your dinner down your front. They'll take you for vagrants and have you hauled off. That might not be bad though. You get three hots and a cot for free.This sculpture is in front of the building I go to at UCSF. We love the convoluted angles because everything that happens to me here is convoluted.
And don't these buildings look like they're falling toward one another into the middle of the street?
Welcome to the newly rebuilt Museum of Natural Sciences in Golden Gate Park. Now get out.
And when you exit Treasure Island and re-enter the Bay Bridge, you will merge immediately onto the bridge. You will have to go from a dead stop at a stop sign and you will have no merging lane. Traffic travels at around 170mph. Good luck. Plan for this to take two hours to get the guts to take off, and another hour to find a spot to fit into.
Thus concludes our tour. Hope you enjoyed the tutorial on survival and site-seeing in San Francisco. For all it's faults, it's still my favorite city in the world (so far). I hated to say good-bye but I knew we would be back. And maybe next time we'll bring the deluxe, COVERED cat box with the handle on top.
(All photographs courtesty of Hannah-Bo, except where she appears.)
P.S. In my last post, a few of you thought I was asking God to take me home. I really just meant I was ready for him to take away the migraine. I do feel death, in this situation, might be too permanent a solution to this temporary situation. But I'm glad to hear you would miss me!
P.S.S. This was my 100th post in the four months I've been out here. I am amazed that I have yakked on so much and still have so much to write about. Not a lot to SAY, mind you, but a lot I'll be writing. Thank you ALL for hanging with me this long. You're the BEST!
Copyright 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
We Interrupt Our Previously Scheduled Broadcast.....
Sorry.....migraine today......trying to shake it but can't enough to write the second part of the San Francisco trip. Hurts my eyes to stare at the screen but it will pass and the words will be flying at you all too soon!I have joined a special post club today from Pampering Beki called "Fingerprint of God Friday." We are to link back to her and then post something in which we can see God's Fingerprint. You might think that would be hard with a migraine but truly, not at all. I could have developed this when I had to deal with the doctors. It could have come during all the frivolity and fun I had with the kids, at the museum. It could have attacked me during heavy traffic and a four hour commute. It did none of those.
It waited until today. Today when my schedule is clear except for a kid activity tonight - and I hope it goes away for that. I can lay down. I can apply hot packs. Grizzly is even laid off work all this week (pray for work please!) and I can ask him to rub my head if it gets too bad. And he will. I think it's medicine induced. Had to go on an antibiotic for a sinus infection and the side effect says, "May cause headache." It did. Of course. But not until today. A GOOD day to be sick. And how many times have any of us lamented, "NOT TODAY! I don't have TIME!" Today I had time. The fingerprint of a gracious God.
Some would say it would be more gracious if he had allowed you not to have a headache at all. But then I would have to answer, "Gracious to whom?" It would place me above the rest of the human race who all suffer at times. This is just my day. I would be a pompous twit if I never got sick, or had pain, or faced travails. These keep me human, and humble, and caring, and in touch with humanity.
And now that I have mixed with humanity to the point that I cannot tell where I end and they begin, I'm ready to be done. Okay Lord? Truly. Now would be good. I'll be the one right here with the pink hot pack on my head. Just waiting on you. Thank you. Anytime would be good. Now would be better.
Copyright 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
San Francisco - The Boring Part - Day 1

When it gets maddening for me is when I am assigned an attitudinal do-little-know-less-uncaring-I-am-the-god-of-the-universe doctor. I won't describe him because you've all met him. I don't know anyone who hasn't come into contact with at least one of these self-appointed rulers of the cosmos. They're such one-trick ponies they don't merit much more explanation.
But sometimes, some blessed, wonderful times, you get a doctor who loves what they do and genuinely wants to help people. I think Dr. Chi, my UCSF Immunologist, is that kind of doctor. So......Yay!
She said she would be doing HOMEwork and research (really? For me?) because she has never seen my particular blood result history and wants to get to the bottom of it. Then she ordered more labs. Labs to be run at her first-rate medical center, UCSF, where I've had labs run before. But since then the insurance has changed the rules and they want you to have labs done at their cut-rate facilities, even if they're very specific labs and take specialty equipment and highly skilled techs. Unless the doctor says "No, it must be done here at the hospital." And by the time I discovered that, the appointment was over. Dr. Chi was the one who told me to check with the insurance company before having the tests done.
And the office staff was less than helpful. One sweet little gal cooly informed me that they wouldn't deal with insurance issues and it was my problem if, "I didn't want to be bothered to go have labs elsewhere and come back and forth." I informed her I lived 150 miles away and it wasn't a matter of not wanting to be "bothered." I was SO proud of myself. I didn't reach across the desk and whack her. Because that's what I wanted to do.
Instead, I spoke kindly and managed to at least get her cooperation in asking someone else. And then I prayed. And then I went to work. I took on Satan - also known as the HMO. Wow. Lanie would have REALLY freaked out if I had told her the truth about THEM.
I spent the next two hours on my cell phone lost in the maze of computer prompts. Each time I got a live body I was put on hold and disconnected or sent back to the introductory prompt to start all over again. When I finally got an answer, I was told they had no information for California and I had been routed to Arizona information. How far can your eyeballs stick out of your head before they actually fall out and roll down your chest do you think?
Next was our local group. They were the ones who informed me special approval was needed and should have been requested beforehand. But it was a possibility. One caveat: it would have to be requested to be processed STAT. And who would have to do that? Our kindly office staff. Yippee. Just great. That'll probably happen when Hell freezes over.May I say thank you to all of you who were praying for me this day? Our little stone in a sling actually brought down Goliath. And caused the following weather phenomenon:

I won't go into death-defying details but five office people later and a "chance" meeting with the doctor in the hallway (to ask if she would write a request saying she wanted the test done at UCSF and she MORE than happily said she absolutely did, and did it immediately), the insurance rep who had been less than friendly, took it upon herself to WALK MY PAPERS to the approval dept., got them approved before we hung up the phone, and worked out the rest with the office. And this after another rep with the same insurance company had told the office it would be DAYS before it could be approved.
I saw locked doors opened right before my very eyes. The eyes that were laying on my chest.
And I got validation.
A lovely woman, Tanika, who usually worked in a different department, approached me as I sat in the hallway weaving together office staff, insurance companies, labs, and doctors into something I could actually use.
"I just witnessed what you went through with the office here. And I heard what was said to you by the girl who accused you of not "wanting to be bothered." Here's the card of the department manager. Please talk to her. They can't fix what they don't know about. No one should go through what you just went through. That was completely wrong."
Would she have been on my side if I had lost it with that person? Doubtful. Self-control is a powerful tool. I'm usually on the frontlines of battle ready to take on the world. It is so nurturing when someone else leads the charge. And not something that happens to me very often.
With approval verification numbers and blood test orders in hand, I headed for the lab downstairs.
An older, sweet little Chinese woman was my lab tech. She sat me down and poured over the requested tests. She pulled out eleven vials. And then she stopped and said, "Oh. One of these tests must be performed before twelve noon and it's now 4:00pm. It has to be sent to the Mayo Clinic. You'll have to come back tomorrow."
Now, for some people this might have been bad news. But for three hooligans set loose on the city of San Francisco, this was YAHOO! news. We had been finagling, trying to think up an excuse for staying one more day and failing. We don't really have the money to just spontaneously vacation. Especially in a city like San Francisco where the locals start each day by opening up the window, wadding up a $50 bill, and throwing it out. EVERYthing is expensive. Parking for the day can cost $30-$40. Thinking about parking is an automatic ten bucks.
So when we go, it's usually staying with a friend (who has her dear sister with her right now while said friend is facing her own health battles), or it's an up-and-back in one day. But what could we do? Budget or not, I had to come back the next day. This also meant our few hour trip to the museum would now have to be delayed until the next day when we could take our time and CLOSE THE PLACE DOWN! After the lab work, of course. We tried to be appropriately somber about this financial hit. We failed. We wouldn't get any richer sitting around wringing our hands so we took our joie de vivre and thrust ourselves upon San Francisco. We don't believe in receiving blessings and then lamenting them. If this was where God saw fit to drop us off for the night, who were we to complain?
More about that tomorrow.
Copyright 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
People I Hang With - Only They Don't Know It
Hi All!
I am gone today, headed for San Francisco and UCSF. I'll knock out the doctor's appt., get my labs, and the plan is to head over to the newly redone Academy of Natural Sciences Museum.
So to keep you entertained, I'm passing along two of my favorite videos. I'll start with the sublime and end with the hysterical.
This first one is really short and is an incredible computer animation of the landing of U.S. Airway Flight 1549 on the Hudson River. It features the actual communication between the pilot and the tower. It's profound if you've never seen it. I've watched it five times. I want to be as calm as this pilot when I face disasters. I want him to fly me everywhere. Even to the grocery store.
This one is from the Ellen Degeneres Show. If I ever get to visit any of you who live in Texas, I'm stopping by this lady's house on the way. She's in Austin,Texas and she and I would get aLONG! I wonder if she would adopt me? I'm up for grabs! Do you think maybe I could go to a taping of "Austin City Limits" while I was there? Everybody sing...."I wanna go home with the armadillo....country music and Amarillo and Abilene........." (that's the theme song just in case you're wonderin' why I'm more off my rocker than usual.)
Special thanks to Susan at My $99 Life for featuring the first one, and Gitz at Gitzen Girl for making me roar over the Ellen video. Thank you, ladies!