A Bear Market - Epilogue

To read all the previous chapters of "A Bear Market," click here: Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 and Chapter 3
Hello there. Jojo here. Your canine correspondent. My motto: I will dig as deep as I have to for the truth or a moldy rotten bone - whichever comes first.

It has been on my heart, and weighin' heavy, that lately some things in the truth department have been twisted and bent, or left out altogether and frankly, I'm disgusted. Nice people like you outta be told when they're havin' their chains yanked. There are heroes livin' here who aren't appreciated or even recognized. I'm not namin' names but I think you'll recognize a hero when you see one. I'll let you in on what's REALLY goin' on behind the scenes and set the record straight.

You all probably know my mom's been laid up. What you probably DON'T know is I've been the one keepin' it all together for her. And I'm doin' it in spite of the fact that she has completely ignored the dog's-honest-truth about those bears and the role certain parties played. But abuse has never allowed me to shirk my duty. So first, here's what's goin' on around the house.

I think it's plain to see by this hopeless look on my face that I have my hands full. And let the record show that I am only layin' on the couch to keep that hooligan, Minky, off of it. Dogs aren't supposed to be on the couch around here and I will lay here as long as I need to, to keep her off.

Because not only is she gettin' her out-of-control self up ON the couch, she's stealin' my dad's coffee cup right out of his work bag. The fool dog likes coffee. No one can leave a cup of it sittin' around anywhere but that she's got her fat schnoz stuck right in there and drinkin' it. If I hadn't caught the culprit right in the action, my dad woulda grabbed this out in the mornin' never knowin' she had drug her lollin' tongue all over it. And she tries to pull off this real innocent look while she's in the middle of the crime!

She even tried to steal his cup and drag it away where she could have coffee all by herself. And you know once you start drinkin' alone it's really all over with. I believe she has all the makins of a bonafide juvenile delinquent. But nobody cares much for what I have to say. Even about bringin' her home. They even tried to tell me she was for me, a present of sorts, to keep me young. Wow. Some kinda present. Apparently, makin' a list is pointless. But movin' along.....

While all this was goin' on, I was tryin' to take care of my mom. She was just layin' around lookin' all dejected and miserable. And though she hasn't been fair with me about some things I'm gettin' ready to tell you, I can't help but treat her honorably 'cause that's just who I am. I went to her bed and took her this:


Now if that's not one fine specimen of a good, broken-in bone that anyone in her right mind would love, I don't know what is. But did she chew it? No, she just said, "Ew! Get that disgusting thing off of my blanket!" and threw it on the floor. I took this abuse and turned the other cheek. I just knew my next idea would do the trick.

The doc always tells you to have a lot of water when you're sick so, I led her to the toilet and told her to get a drink. She just looked at me and then sat down on my water bowl. Nice.

I racked my brain and came up with the suggestion we go to the park and told her she could roll around in that nice poop I found over there the other day. I did. It was great. But with her? No sale. She's even still mad at me for jumpin' in. The woman canNOT be comforted. And frankly, I'm outta ideas. So, I figured, I'd post for her and give her a break and, in so doing, I would tell you the truth about the bears and my sleepin' habits.

I read the bad press I got about not waking up when I'm called or when things are going on. This is ridiculous. You need to know that I slept through her calling me when I was in bed with The Wild Man that night, because it is good for her to practice not gettin' so hysterical. I knew she wanted me but she needs to relax and learn to handle her panic better. I wasn't gone. I hadn't run away or been dognapped. And when I heard all that caterwallin' I decided then and there: that is NOT healthy. So I just kept my eyes closed and played dumb. I'm sure you can see my good work and motivation here.

And as far as sleeping through the bear, that was exaggerated, too. I knew the bear was out there! If I had growled or barked, these people of mine would have gotten up and tangled with them. I was trying to keep it quiet. What's a little car damage when your family is at risk? No one gives me any credit for having good sense.

And not only did they not give me credit, they put me in the minivan and went back to bed! I was NOT afraid. I WAS afraid that pitiful excuse for Yogi and her bratty kids wouldn't come back and let me tear a souvenir out of their backsides. That's the look my family saw on my face. It had nothing to do with the smell of bear in there. In fact, I was able to stand on the door handle, open the door, and head out to hunt those mangy maulers the rest of the night. We had a few serious tangles and I left them bloody and horrified. When I was satisfied they wouldn't come back for the night, I got back in the van and conked out. These people will never know what I did for them because I'm not one to brag on myself.

The next night it was me leading the charge in the bear hunt. I tried to drag Grizzly the right way but you can't tell him anything. He's got a gun and a flashlight. Apparently, that trumps guts, a nose, and pure brawn. I don't need a gun. I hate guns. I bark and try to tell him they're dangerous. I've hated them ever since he and The Wild Man got Nerf guns for Christmas when I was only a couple of years old. How I got caught in the cross-fire I'll never know but I had to take a bullet for both of them. And they want me to be excited about this craziness.

I got drug in all the wrong directions the whole night. And all the while Yogi was stalking my mother. I know it was a vendetta for my activities the night before. That she-bear knew I was out looking for her in all the wrong places and she had plans to digest my mother figure. Thank goodness my mom heard that wicked thing behind her and I was able to bark and charge forward. It was my sheer ferocity that saved her but, you didn't hear it from me.

Anyway, I'll get back to figuring out how to help her out around here. I thought about saving her some of my dog food this morning but that seriously challenges all I know to be sacred. I had one piece left....I even took a picture of it and sat for a long time givin' it some serious thought......


And then I remembered how she spun this story against me. She'll just have to do without MY dog food. That'll show her. I'll keep you posted if I see any more flagrant lying.




And don't worry. You'll ALWAYS get the straight story from me.

From Jojo - The HONEST one.

Thank You, Treehouse!

I won an Amazon giftcard from Treehouse Kitchen, aka, The Treehouse Chef! Yay! Thanks Treehouse!

If you've never visited her site you might like to check it out. I've gotten lots of wonderful recipes from her. She makes terrific food and just got done introducing us to some of her favorite things. Go here for food inspiration. :)

On another note.....stay tuned......

I found Jojo looking very guilty by my computer this morning. Apparently, there is now an Epilogue to "A Bear Market," and Jojo has had HER say. She says it will be up later today.

Word Wackiness Contributions

"Froggy Chaos" by Suzanne Brown

Okay.....most of you probably don't go back and read comments so I'm sharing these with you. I don't know why these hit me so funny but they do. And you guys are funnier than they are. Here's what you've come up with so far:

Lady Fi: Tizet: Something you get into when you fly into a panic.. I'm in a real tizet today!

Tatersmama: Dente: Like I could really sink my teeth into this post!!!

Knitnut,Karen: Podunk: Like I'm in a podunk mood today, meaning,nothing is turning out right or I"m dropping everything I touch.

And then you got warmed up:

BZ: Vires: An illness that causes one to not spell correctly (this one made me LOL loving words an all.....!)

Lady Bird World Mother: Reveria: Sounds like very up market party. 'Oh, darling, you simply must have a Reveria... everyone is now, you know..,'

Ga.Farmwoman: Alypsiv: Sounds like a new ski trick down the alp mountains.Or maybe a new baby name.

Kadezmom: Sahlvin: As in "I'm salvin the word's problems one stitch at the time!" (another one that made me laugh out loud)...the southern accent made me think of one I got.......

Robynn: Parple: Purple, in the south.

Tatersmama: No Tief: As in, "I have no tief to eat chocolte wif anyway!" (She was complaining because I didn't send HER any chocolate when she was sick but now I'm asking her to send me some. I lied and told her I did and she didn't get it. But this made me ROFL anyway!)

and BZ was the final entry:

Genetto: (pronounced jen'-et-toe)- Ghetto based DNA(genetics + ghetto) - another LOL.

Thanks for entertaining me while I'm worthless. You GUYS are clever GIRLS!

Prayer Request for Caring Friends

Hi All -

Serious note here this afternoon......

Would you all keep a dear woman, Kaleena, her husband, and their girls in your prayers today? You can read her story here. All three girls are in the hospital right now, very ill, and all, of course, want their mommy. But there's only one of her. And her husband has some serious health issues as well. She also lost a baby son. Life can be so very hard to understand but she is fully leaning on God's grace and provision. Lots of you have walked through extremely tough times and might be able to lend a word of encouragement. And I know your prayers would mean so much.

Also, my Hannah-Bo has taken a turn for the worse after battling something for about three months off and on. This last virus, a week ago, knocked her down before she was back up again. She wasn't desperately ill before that but just extremely tired and couldn't shake a nagging cough. The doctor wants to see her again tomorrow and neither one of us feel like even sitting in the office but, that's the way it is. Anyway, our troubles certainly pale in comparison to poor Kaleena's.

Welcome to the Pity Party - Bring Hats

THIS JUST IN........

API BULLETIN......ROBYNN HAS BEEN HANGING AROUND WITH SICK PEOPLE TOO MUCH AND HAS CONTRACTED THE GALLOPING GUNGIS, OR FUNGUS AMONG-GUS, OR A VIRES (THANK YOU BZ - SEE HER COMMENT UNDER "WORD WACKINESS" - YOU MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD EVEN IN MY PITIFUL, DESPERATE CONDITION) THAT MAY BEGIN TO AFFECT MY SPELLIGN SKELS. I AM GOING DOWN FOR THE COUNT. GOOD-BYE.......PLEASE SEND CHOCOLATE.

AND THIS JUST IN.........

THE API CANNOT SHUT UP TODAY........YOU MUST OBLIGE ME BECAUSE I AM WHINING AND GO HERE. IF YOU LOVE ANIMALS, YOU WILL LAUGH. IF YOU DON'T LOVE ANIMALS, YOU WILL BE DISGUSTED. THAT IS GOOD TOO. CAN YOU HEAR ME TALKING LIKE A ROBOT........I AM TOO FRIGHTFULLY ILL TO USE EMOTION IN MY VOICE. AND I AM USING ALL CAPS NOT TO YELL BUT BECAUSE I CAN AND I FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF.

Word Verification Wackiness 1

"Froggy Chaos" by Suzanne Brown

I think I'll start a new category here.

We combine words to create new ideas or convey stories, thoughts, feelings, etc. The possibilities seem limitless but our word choices aren't. They have remained fairly static. Until now. The world's gone crazy.

In computer land a whole new language is being created randomly and we have to type the new words everyday when we want to leave comments. It's called "Word Verification."

I like to come up with definitions because the words are too great, or insane, or hysterical, to pass up. Let's make up our own definitions. Some explanations seem obvious but others are like those personalized license plates you can't figure out and they drive you nuts. Am I the only one who chases people and makes them roll down the window and tell me what in the heck they're trying to say? Many years ago we had a license plate that said, "WE HMSCL." Seems obvious to me but Grizzly's nephew thought it meant, "Whimsical." I LOVED that! One of my favorite words. So, meaning is obviously in the eye, and brain, of the beholder. Here's a smattering of my brain beholdings (ew, that sounds gross........!):

(Update: this afternoon - what kind of lexicographer am I to not include pronunciations?)

SHELOGIE (sha-low-gee): A hogie sandwich from a deli in Sheboygan, WI.

FATION (fat-shun): What "Fashion" becomes when I put it on.

DIALNGRI (die-ul-angry): The phone call that came right before "Dial 'M' for Murder."

ANTURDS (ant-poop): What you find in little ant toilets. (Sorry, it was that 5th grade boy who lives in my head!)


Okay, what have YOU got?!

Copyright 2009

Happy Birthday, Judy

Today is my sister's birthday and I just wanted to acknowledge it. She has been gone for many years now but I miss her more as I get older. She was five-and-a-half years older than me and we drove each other nuts as kids. What kids don't? But we also had some incredible times and she had the tender heart of angel, with the soul of a poet. She also had a really tough life and, from the very beginning, was basically either missed, abused, or neglected altogether by the adults around her.

At 18, in desperation, she said, "Enough."

And then there was no changing anything.

I wish you could have hung on long enough, Judy, to know it wasn't worth giving up for. But you were too young to realize it and I was too young to help you see.

I know where you are though and, without a doubt, I know we'll all be together again one of these days. You would be SO proud of your niece and nephews. They're all great kids and are crazy and funny, like you. And they would LOVE you! You and I would have a ball and I would have someone to compare notes with and examine all this craziness that was our lives. I think of you often and will tell your story out here one of these days because you never got the chance to.

Each time I hear Don McLean sing "Starry, Starry NIght," I always think of you:

"For they could not love you,
But still your love was true,
And when no hope was left in sight,
On that starry, starry night,
You took your life as lover's often do,
But I could have told you Vincent,
This world was never meant for one as....
Beautiful as you."

I know you're not sad tonight. You are where all the former things are wiped away and you don't feel all the old griefs. You were loved by God and you loved him and hoped to serve him one day on the mission field. It's harder for me to forget and forgive on your behalf because so much could have been different. But I'm working on it my sister, my friend. I'm working. I love you. Happy Birthday. :)