It's DOULA DAY!

Mister Baby is on his way
And I'll be at the hospital today
Pray for mom, she's blessed you see,
She has two girls, baby boy makes three (children)

Very sad poet. I'll keep my day job!

Homeschooling: An Insider's View - Lacks Humor

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About thirteen years ago I formally started this little thing called homeschooling.

Homeschooling was first introduced to me while driving and listening to Dr. James Dobson on "Focus on the Family." He was interviewing Dr. Raymond S. Moore and his wife, Dorothy, on their new book entitled "Homeschool Burnout." I was on the road a lot and traveling a great deal with my job. And I was pregnant with Hannah-Bo. I knew I didn't want to travel forever and I had been trying to have a baby for years. (The subject of another post!) I knew when I heard the concept, homeschooling was for us. When it was time, I would be home and be her teacher.

Grizzly thought I was nuts.

He frequently has that thought so this was not daunting.

I did what I always do. I bought the book, read it, and then told him he should read it, too. (I actually thought this would work for the first fifteen years of our marriage. I'm a slow learner. How high does that book stack have to GET before a person catches on?) Next, I moved on to reading him short passages and giving him upshots. Then came another book and so on and so forth. He started to think it could work.

Not so much the rest of the world we lived in.

As homeschoolers, one of the questions we get asked most frequently is, "What about socialization?" After teaching for all these years I usually quip, "Don't worry about them. They have friends galore. It's ME you need to be concerned about. All I do is drive them from one thing to another and I HAVE no social life!" And ten years ago I would have completely dismissed the inquiry and been puffed up with my own opinion. But I was an idiot. It's a valid

question.

In forming my opinions about public school I looked at crime statistics, teen pregnancies, fractured parental and child relationships, and the complete void of moral and spiritual training in some schools. I wasn't impressed with THAT method of socialization. I researched overall test scores. I recalled my own abysmal school career and being missed by nearly every teacher while my home life crashed down around me for years.

Grizzly's experiences weren't much better and he'd been at private Christian school as well as public. What WOULDN'T recommend homeschooling to us?

And I thought homeschooling was inherently good, just by the nature of having constant parental involvement. I was wrong. All parties involved would have to be inherently good for that equation to balance and I haven't met that perfect person yet, especially when I look in the mirror. It just ain't so.

As my children grew I did see marvelous examples of great kids from homeschooling families. High achievers, well adjusted, future movers and shakers. But let's be honest: I saw a few terrible ones as well. Kids who had obviously not been taught much, especially manners and respect for others. And kids who were intelligent and educated academically but who brought the ugliest of judgmental attitudes down on those who didn't dress, or believe, or act exactly the way they, or their family, did. Their families taught by unflattering comparisons, instead of by Truth and love. I did it, too, at times, and had to repent mightily when I saw the ugly fruit it bore. Ouch.

But what I figured out was this: some parents public/private school their children and they could, or should, be homeschooling, for a variety of reasons. And some kids who are homeschooled would be better served by being in a public/private setting, for a variety of reasons. There isn't a one-size-fits-all approach. Life doesn't come with a template but it does come with challenges. God will meet us in those challenges and direct us. And we aren't God. Our job is to pray, and encourage, and help one another.

I have dear friends who are public school teachers. Some of them homeschool their own children and some teach in the public sector. I know how invested they are in the children in their classes and the love they give them might be the only love those children know anywhere in their lives. I am grateful for them. I am thankful for them.

I also have friends who send their kids to public/private school and they are caring, concerned, loving, fanTAStic parents. (I even have two friends who do all three with different kids - hi Teresa! - hi Kim!)

And I'm absolutely blessed by parents who make daily sacrifices and do without to honor their calling and serve their children by teaching them in their home. It's constant. It's 24/7. It's trench work. It's pushing rocks up a hill on a lot of days. But what it isn't, or shouldn't be, is about competition for who's the better parent and an either/or in school choices.

I've taken my share of heat. Family isn't always supportive. Public school advocates are sometimes prejudiced, even ugly and unkind, and think we're freaks. Well, we are freaks so that doesn't hurt our feelings. We're just not freaks in the way they think we are! Yes, there is sometimes a presumption that we do nothing and have no standards. No, my school doesn't look like any other school. I don't think I have a market on how all school should be done. I reinvent myself each year and throw out what doesn't work and press on. No, there isn't a perfect formula. If you're super strong in one area, you are probably weaker in another. NO ONE does it ALL. Public, private, or homeschooler.

My response has been to keep on keepin' on. Except on the days I don't. And then I rebel. And then I get over it. It's a theme in my life.

So with that involved, tedious, opinionated, and probably boring introduction into how we got where we are, and how we do what we do, and I'll say that I'm proud I homeschool, and not in a prideful way. I celebrate what homeschooling is and say my thankful prayers to God. And I will tell you some fantastic news about Hannah-Bo.....

tomorrow. It's a win for anyone who homeschools and needs hope that their children can compete on the academic front lines. See ya then!

Copyright 2009

Cinderella Is Overrated :)

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The following post is a reprint from an essay contest I won last week. There has been a lot of response so I thought I would bring it over here, too, for those of you who haven't seen it. I can't believe how many bells this rang for other people. Even the Pioneer Woman replies. (Yes! THAT knock out!)

"You have been weighed on the scales and found wanting"......a cookie.

I know that's not the true meaning of Daniel 5:27, but every time I hear that verse, I see the dreaded scale at the doctor's office and it makes me need to comfort myself, with sugar. Because I have been "weighed on the scales" and found fat.

Diet and exercise. Really? I thought dieting WAS exercise. I exercise self-discipline. I exercise self-control. I RUN off at the mouth about how long this diet is taking and how miserable I am. I JUMP to the conclusion it's never going to work. I THROW myself around in fits of hysteria. All of this makes me break a sweat and, if that isn't exercise then really, I give up.

And is it just me or have you ever set your own compound fracture at home just so the doctor won't tell you to lose a few pounds if you go into the office?

I didn't always fight on the front lines of the weight wars. I was a skinny kid. And of course, I didn't appreciate it. By my late teens I was fighting the demons and by twenty I was thirty pounds overweight. My mother said I looked like someone "stuck an air hose in my mouth and turned it on." She was gifted at descriptions. And she detested fat. To this day she has a fantastic figure and little tolerance for the chubby among us.

But I vacillated and tried out lots of different numbers on the scale. Worthy meant less than 140 pounds on my 5'7" frame. Worthless was anything over that. And I have watched 140 pounds disappear in my rear view mirror so many times there's a rut in the road. You would think with that rut I could trace my way back but I haven't even visited in years.

So, where does that leave me? In the worthless mode? If I'm honest I have to say yes, sometimes.

I remember sitting on my bed nursing my first baby, and weeping endlessly. I had added 28 pounds to my round figure during pregnancy. And I had delivered an 8lb. 2oz. baby. But when I got on the scale before I left the hospital, I had only lost six pounds. Now I ask you: what the heck? I'm no mathematician (which is equal to the understatement "I am not as skinny as Angelina Jolie") but shouldn't I have at least lost as much as the baby weighed??

My husband heard me crying and came upstairs to ask me what was wrong. Poor men. They just don't know what they're walking into.

"I'm f-a-a-a-a-a-t!" I wailed. "I don't want the baby to grow up and realize she has an ugly mother!" "Well, honey," he answered soothingly. "It will be YEARS before she knows that." I mentally packed his bags and sent him to live with my mother. And then I stopped sobbing and began laughing hysterically. Anyone that helpless in the comforting department cannot be held liable for his actions. And he had never, ever complained about my body. That bought him a huge pass.

But those two extremes - devastation over my plight and laughing at how ridiculous I am - would sum up where I am in my head most of the time.

I can't help comparing my body with the svelte and lean and wishing I could defeat this old adversary. I loathe clothes shopping and sometimes feel like, "What's the point?" If you take an egg and put a bathing suit on it or an evening gown, doesn't it still look like an egg? Is either outfit going to flatter me? Now, if I had Oprah's access to the fashionistas then, maybe. She can go up or down and still look gorgeous and you may be able to do the same. But on my limited budget and even more limited imagination about what to do with myself, I tend to stay away from shopping.

And my neuroses cup runneth over so much, I can look at successful people and, if they're thin and beautiful, decide on-the-spot I can never experience their accomplishment. No other factors of their achievement come into play in my teeny-tiny mind. How about their brains? Their talents? Their personalities? Their charisma? Their absolute blessing by God? No, I'm sure it is because they are worthy in their size six jeans. It's very small of me, really. Pathetic, actually. Excuse making, most probably.

When I decided to start blogging, thinking I might have something to say (okay, the reality is: when don't I have something I want to say), I checked out top blogs. One of the first I came upon was "Confessions of a Pioneer Woman." Most of you have been there, I'm sure, and know Ree Drummond. She's incredible. She's funny. She's a good cook. She's an invested homeschooling mom. She's a compelling writer. She's an unbelievable photographer with a smokin' camera and studied knowledge in Photoshop. She shares all this. She's generous.

And she's GORGEOUS and THIN! Like a desperate paparazzo in the bushes, that was all I could focus on. As soon as I saw her I knew, no matter what I ever said or did or wrote or created, I would not realize blogging success because I couldn't look like that. Seriously.

And then I got over myself.

I have to get over myself a LOT. I have to beat back the ridiculous narrative that runs in my head and try to be a grown up. I give my self-pity back to God where I'm sure he throws it into some holy trash can. (Can a trash can BE holy?) I make myself remember each person has his or her own voice and calling. And I have to realize that many, many people I admire, love, extol, value, want to be like, and desperately seek to emulate in many different areas of my life, will never win beauty contests (though some certainly could). They are mere mortals, like me, and I'm sure even Ree would be happy to point out, in her oh-so-funny way, all the things she detests about herself and what would disqualify her for goddess status.

Most of us probably won't find ourselves walking runways as fashion models. The closest we might ever get to a size six is if we multiplied it by two or three, or four.

And when I do think of those I love and admire the most, their weight and looks is irrelevant. They own my heart because of their intrinsic and beautiful value as real people with lovely, warm, and humble hearts. They make life richer for the rest of us by who they are and what they give. Some challenge me, some educate me, and a lot make me laugh.

So, I apply myself these days to making changes by eating healthier - organic whenever possible - and buying locally - because it's the best for us and supports our local farmers. And I guess I'm trying to portion control, if eating from the time you start cooking until dinner is over, counts as one portion. And I joined the gym. Apparently, you have to GO as well. Should have read the fine print.

And then I force myself to remember back to when I was seven. I watched "Cinderella" on television with Lesley Ann Warren in the lead role.

I thought she was desperately beautiful. I ran into the bedroom, looked in the mirror, and promptly burst into tears. "I will NEVER look like her!" I sobbed, and I was right. But, all these years later, I'm okay with that because I, unlike Cinderella, never have to dread midnight. I look the same before and after.

And that's strangely comforting in a roundish, pumpkin sort of way.

The Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond, responds:

That was a beautiful essay, Robynn!

I feel compelled to tell you, however, that though I'm tall and have been perceived as a relatively "thin" person throughout my life, I am very, very far from thin right now. I've gained about ten pounds in the past year (cookbook, anyone?)...and we won't talk about the baby weight I already was holding onto before that. :)

This really has nothing to do with your lovely essay. But since I'm such an in depth investigative journalist (heh heh) I felt I needed to set the record straight.

Lotsa Love,

Ree

Read Ree's post today about how her cows are comforting her on body proportions!

Copyright 2009

Got Perspective?

I ALWAYS visit Tatersmama. I call her my "Velveteen Rabbit" because she's had so much fur rubbed off by life, she has definitely been made "real." In fact, I think I may create a "Velveteen Rabbit" award that we can all start passing on to blogs and people we think deserve it, and she's getting it first. There are so many. Wouldn't that be great to be able to give out?

And she makes me laugh out loud and cry out loud, for cryin' out loud. And we both love the movie "Nacho Libre" and THAT, my friends, is a rare find - someone else with exTREMEly sophisticated humor......! All this to say, she just posted a link on her site that featured this video:





Thank you, TM. I needed to see/hear this. Do yourselves a favor and watch. And then visit Tatersmama, and check out Virtue Alert to read her profound words about what it really means to "walk the walk."

And I deCLARE (since my "yes" has obviously not been yes nor my "no" a no).....I AM going to post about Hannah-Bo and let you know about Doula Duty which is now supposed to happen this Friday. And I have the funniest story to tell you after that.........

Oh! And my kids call this a "golden" anniversary, when you hit a birthday or anniversary that is the same day as the number you turn - as in your 12th birthday on the 12th of the month. So today, I give thanks for 85 followers on my 85th day blogging....a happy symmetry!

P.S. If you're looking for the contest, it's a few posts below....Thanks! And check out Treehouse Chef. She's a FABULOUS chef, with terrific recipes, and she's having a contest, too!

Observational Twitter 11

Fact:

"Today is Fat Tuesday."

More Pertinent Fact:

"For me, EVERY Tuesday is fat Tuesday. What I really wanna know is: Where the heck is Skinny Wednesday and why haven't I been invited to THAT party?"


Copyright 2009

WE DID IT!!

Woohoo!! We did it - all of us! 75 followers and 2 more for a big bonus!

The contest is now on!!

The prize: Two $50 gift cards from Amazon, one for each of two winners. The contest will run through Friday, February 27th, 2009, 10p.m. Pacific Standard Time. (I'm in California.)

Here's how to enter: If you are already a follower just leave a comment with your best advice on how to grow this blog, or what you like about it, or what you like about the best blogs you've visited, or anything else you want to say. That will get you your first entry.

If you aren't a follower, feel free to sign up to follow (see that little link over there to your right above the photos? Yep, that's the one.) and do the same thing.

If you post about this contest on YOUR blog and put a link to it, just let me know by leaving another comment (saying "Posted a Link") and you're entered again.

Finally, tell your followers to mention they saw this on YOUR blog when they come by, and I'll put in a another entry, for you, for each person who came over from your site (up to five additional entries per blog author).

(My family members are, of course, excluded from the contest. Yeah bummer guys...hope you don't stop following!)

Make sure there is a way for me to contact you. If you don't have a blog that I can track back to, email me at robynnsravings at gmail dot com. (But use the gmail.com and not the spelling. That's just to throw the spammers off track.) I'll need to know where to send your gift card.

Okay...all that said....please let me start by saying THANK YOU! YOU all made this happen. You have supported me, encouraged me endlessly, and made me feel so welcomed and embraced out here. I will never, not with all the words there are to chose from, be able to convey what that has meant to me.

But some of you have asked: why 75?

Well, here's the thing. I started this blog on Dec. 3rd of 2008 - about 80 days ago. I had a fire in my belly but I was also unsure.

How vulnerable do I get here? Do I tell you that I went to a writer's conference and had two magazines I've never even heard of tell me no one would find my work interesting and that I had no ability to connect with readers? That no one could relate to the kind of things I wrote about? The kind of things I write here? No, I'm not goin' that far. It's too embarrassing.

So I'll just tell you this: I had a a couple friends encourage me to blog. They actually thought I COULD write. I also needed to get information out to a few people all at once, for efficiency sake. It seemed doable. But I thought, if those publishers are right the blog will probably fall on its face. But if they're wrong, well, that'd be great and I guess I'll know if people show up.

A dear friend, Reginia at Tetertots, promoted me on her site and her sister, Tina at Tunajones, did the same. The first ten followers began to trickle in. I was elated. And then a lovely lady named Libby, at Neas Nuttiness, found me and gave me a glowing review on her blog. More came. Soon, Tatersmama's Take on Things was sending folks over and when I hit 20, I was overwhelmed. Linda at Another Piece of the Pie sent friends. So I began to wonder: would 75 followers in 75 days be possible? Maybe. If I keep writing and posting and working and telling about my hair-brained life, then.....maybe. If it's supposed to happen, it will. And wouldn't 75 feel like a big party? Just think of how many incredible people I might meet. So, that was my goal. Of course, once you reach a goal you have to set another one. But I can't tell you how elated I am right now! And YOU did it!

Today is 83 days. I overshot by a week. But there are 78 of us (including me), all hangin' out together now! And I get to visit you and see what you're up to and get to know you. Oh my gosh. YOU guys are amazing. And you keep coming back. That's REALLY amazing!

Thank you for sharing your stories and your life with me. Thank you for being my friends. I am blessed.

With Love,

Robynn

I'm Shocked!

Ree, The Pioneer Woman, commented on my Essay over at Red Pine Mountain. How fun!

Here is her comment, reprinted by permission from Red Pine.

Ree said...

That was a beautiful essay, Robynn!

I feel compelled to tell you, however, that though I'm tall and have been perceived as a relatively "thin" person throughout my life, I am very, very far from thin right now. I've gained about ten pounds in the past year (cookbook, anyone?)...and we won't talk about the baby weight I already was holding onto before that. :)

This really has nothing to do with your lovely essay. But since I'm such an in depth investigative journalist (heh heh) I felt I needed to set the record straight.

Lotsa Love,Ree
Sunday, February 22, 2009

Red Pine shared that Pioneer Woman was her inspiration for starting her blog. I started for different reasons but found her right away through Linda at Another Piece of the Pie and became a huge fan and follower immediately. I know she has thousands of people who read her every day and is busier than ten people put together. Consequently, I simply never expected to hear from her personally. What a shock and a wonderful surprise! But I must say this: all of my friends who stop in here so often, some daily, and leave me the funniest, most touching, and incredibly encouraging responses, are what keep me going and make me feel this is all worth doing. I love you guys.