Happy Birthday, Judy

Today is my sister's birthday and I just wanted to acknowledge it. She has been gone for many years now but I miss her more as I get older. She was five-and-a-half years older than me and we drove each other nuts as kids. What kids don't? But we also had some incredible times and she had the tender heart of angel, with the soul of a poet. She also had a really tough life and, from the very beginning, was basically either missed, abused, or neglected altogether by the adults around her.

At 18, in desperation, she said, "Enough."

And then there was no changing anything.

I wish you could have hung on long enough, Judy, to know it wasn't worth giving up for. But you were too young to realize it and I was too young to help you see.

I know where you are though and, without a doubt, I know we'll all be together again one of these days. You would be SO proud of your niece and nephews. They're all great kids and are crazy and funny, like you. And they would LOVE you! You and I would have a ball and I would have someone to compare notes with and examine all this craziness that was our lives. I think of you often and will tell your story out here one of these days because you never got the chance to.

Each time I hear Don McLean sing "Starry, Starry NIght," I always think of you:

"For they could not love you,
But still your love was true,
And when no hope was left in sight,
On that starry, starry night,
You took your life as lover's often do,
But I could have told you Vincent,
This world was never meant for one as....
Beautiful as you."

I know you're not sad tonight. You are where all the former things are wiped away and you don't feel all the old griefs. You were loved by God and you loved him and hoped to serve him one day on the mission field. It's harder for me to forget and forgive on your behalf because so much could have been different. But I'm working on it my sister, my friend. I'm working. I love you. Happy Birthday. :)