"Oh Doctor, stop! You're killing me! Incredulity is coming out my nose!"

Child number two down with fever and big time cough. He's had a nagging cough for two weeks but was handling it and getting better until yesterday when he tanked after lots of school, late nights, and early mornings. Schlepped him to the doc earlier today only to find out that our beloved doctor quit and is now a work-at-home mom (sad for us but happy for you, Dr. C!). Sooooo, naturally, my patiently-putting-up-with-me friends, we had to get a NEW doctor within the practice. And BOYYYYY was she new. Like just-bought-a-stethoscope-on-her-way-to-work new. Young, no wedding ring, so probably no children but she knew ALL the theories and all the answers, even to the questions I was apparently too mentally challenged to ask.

I was informed that I had neglected my 18-year-old son. He would not have been so sick if I had been treating his Reactive Airway Disease (seriously? When did he get that? EVERYTHING is a disease these days including getting a secondary infection when you've had a cough.) Had I only had him on his inhalers that had been prescribed for him in March (mind you, that was for the PNEUMONIA he had which cleared completely and he never coughed ONCE after it did), he would not be sick today. And when asked if he was running a fever and I said, "Yes, but only around 100," I was informed this is NOT a fever. It is not a fever until it is 100.4. I think his was only 100.3. And no, I could NOT get cough medicine with codeine to help him sleep even though it works like a miracle. Older doctors write for that but those of the brand-new-stethoscopes don't anymore. It's bad for them (though they take it only 3 or 4 nights a couple of times a year). But they should live on daily meds and inhalers for diseases they may (or more likely do NOT) have. Boy, the THINGS I'm LEARNING! And she wrote a prescription for antibiotics but it would not cure his airway disease, she informed us, because I was apparently wearing an expression on my face that looked as if I thought antibiotics cured everything, including incredulity. I expected CPS to be called in any minute. Except, being 18 and all, it's hard to find the right foster home so, maybe we'll be a low priority.

But I think we can ALL agree that I AM neglectful and just don't amply treat my children or seek appropriate medical care, as is evidenced by my adult daughter who has been to four doctors now and had 2,874,389 tests run in the two months she has been sick with her mystery illness. Not to mention holistic approaches like healthy organic food, massage, stress management, and even travel to a healthier climate.

Time to get my son established with this adult daughter's doctor. We've been in the same pediatric practice for 23 years and we've had wonderful ones and you-can't-be-serious-and-you-did-NOT-just-say-that-to-me ones; watched 'em come and watched 'em go. THIS one may go but if not, she's in for a rude awakening. I may have been sitting before her and nodding like a demented bobble head (seriously, NOT worth the battle), but there WILL be others after me (I'm almost done with pediatrics) who will school this dear girl so full of knowledge and devoid of wisdom. You cannot accuse and dismiss experienced moms VERY often without your life becoming terribly unpleasant. Thank you, Dr. Who (must-not-be-named). I AM writing a book about these migraine-making-medical-mishaps and you just gave me yet another chapter. But hey, UNIVERSE, now hear this: I'm REALLY okay now. I have enough material in so many areas of my life and it's time for you to share with someone else. Seriously. Next in line, please! I have to go now. I have children to neglect, for Pete's sake.



©  Robynn's Ravings 2013