And I say it’s not today. Not for me. I’m happy for all of you and hope you are celebrating every sticky kiss and chubby armed hug you have ever received. May you revel in surviving all the really scary diapers and the endless years of night duty with its accompanying sleep deprivation and bags under your eyes large enough to tote your groceries. And may you always have the color crayon drawing that’s been kept on the refrigerator for ten years even though it’s splashed, stained, and frayed and would permanently banish you from operating in certain social circles. Well, maybe that last one is just me.
Please don’t get me wrong. I think this is a high-holy day in the Mothering Kingdom. Motherhood is like the Peace Corp whose slogan is “It’s the hardest job you’ll ever love.” I consider becoming a mother to be THE high point of my life and I LOVE my job with my whole heart.
But that’s why I can’t celebrate today. I am rescheduling. And who’s to say I can’t? I have this rebellious streak in me that has often pondered rescheduling ALL holidays. Let’s face it: Jesus wasn’t born on December 25th. But someone at some point said, “Close enough,” and we all crowded into the stores to obey their directive and meet their timetable. We have discussed celebrating a week later. Can you imagine? Time to enjoy everyone else and ponder the meaning of Christmas? All the activities you wouldn’t resent? Deep breathing. The money saving sales?
And what would Valentine’s Day be a week later? Less crowded? Your favorite table at that romantic restaurant with no long line and a waiter who doesn’t hate you? 75% off that to-die-for box of chocolates at your favorite chocolatier?
I’m having a hard time seeing the downside.
And in that vein, I AM rescheduling Mother’s Day. It’s been a challenging week and the timing is all off.
- Monday/Tuesday – stomach flu, major nerve pain
- Tuesday-Friday – throat infection
- Wednesday – beloved dog dies
- Thursday – beloved dog funeral
- Saturday – Grizzly works his 13th day in a row (afraid to turn down any overtime because the company broke us with his ozone injury and their refusal to pay for his time off, even though he STILL hasn't recovered), while also fitting in a major repair job on the Jeep so he can get to work, major repair job at my mom’s fixing two well pumps because she can’t afford to hire anyone and she had no water, and completing major electrical work at our church because it’s overdue and well, it’s the CHURCH. If he runs screaming into the forest and never returns, I completely understand and hope he remembers his warm coat.
- Saturday – spent with baseball, my mom, shopping for her and taking her to lunch, addressing difficulties and concerns, and listening to revisionist history storytelling while practicing joy, patience, and functional insanity. Fighting yawning while being sleep deprived after dealing with the crazy drug addicted neighbor and sitting with her kids at 3:30 in the morning after they called the police on her, for the 30th time.
- Saturday – Same neighbor sells me a bogus ticket to a contest at her daughter’s school and I bite, thinking no one would stoop so low as to use your feelings for their child as a way into your pocket (I’ve obviously had little experience with this and am a COMPLETE doofus), only to find out from another neighbor the daughter says there IS no contest and mom is raising drug money.
- Saturday – Drug mom shows up at my door and wants a ride to where else? THE DRUG STORE. I decline and tell her she needs help and that I know the contest was a fake. I am cursed and told I have no right to call myself a Christian. I think I do have a right to call myself a doofus.
- Sunday – TODAY. Daughter is in finals and must study all day so can’t take time off to hang out with us and I don’t choose to do Mother’s Day without her.
- Sunday – Our attorney wants to meet with us because his wife is out of town and he is available. I don’t usually meet with attorneys on Mother’s Day but am grateful nonetheless for his concern for our needs. Additionally, our health insurance is changing and all forms need to be filled out to turn in tomorrow. What says Mother’s Day more than bureaucratic red tape?
- Sunday – Remain vigilant. Drug mom grows creepier and more threatening.
- Final Decision? DO OVER!
How about you? Do you ever consider rescheduling holidays or birthdays? (Don’t even get me STARTED on birthdays. I have birthSEASONS, not days.)
So, for all of you lovely traditionalists, I honor you and love you and hope you receive the props I KNOW you deserve. I wish I could hug each one of you for the kindness, generosity, and affection you’ve shown me. But when I sit down to my Mother’s Day dinner, in a few weeks, after the rush is over, I’ll lift my cup to you then.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Images Courtesy of Available Internet Images and Pam Warden, Artist and Obvious Genius – products available through www.amerheritage.com/salespages/art/pamwarden1.htm