Sunday, January 24, 2010

Lilly Livered


So I spoke too soon about all my colonoscopic success.

Apparently, you have this gross looking thing living in your abdomen known as a liver. (I find it mildly disturbing that I possess parts which may appear on a menu.) My liver is extremely petulant and indulged and decided to throw a temper fit shortly after being bombarded with Movi-Prep. It has had its problems over the years and contributed to interruptions in vacation schedules and general good health. It does not take medicine and sticks out its little liver lips and pouts. Now it has the dubious distinction of also being clinically fatty and enlarged.

And why not? It belongs to a person who is fatty and enlarged. Shouldn’t we be a matched set? This is apparently undesirable. I think the clinical term the doctor used was “not good.” But it may be reversible with concerted effort. (I always got D’s in concerted effort). If it does get fixed I hope the rest of my body follows. It would be a shame to have a beautiful and svelte liver that didn’t match the whole ensemble.

All of this led to a dramatic visit to the hospital via ambulance. (The ambulance driver invited the lovely 18-yr-old Bo to ride along. No one invited me when my stepdad fell. It must have been my chubby liver.) It would seem something was jostled during my colonoscopy or else all the Movi-Prep moved and prepped things not designed to be moved and prepped. Whatever happened, something went seriously amiss and dire pain ensued along with other effects that do not deserve honorable mention. And since my abdominal menu item is in a less-than-healthy state, it has had some trouble recovering.

I am happy to say it is at least up and receiving visitors, though it draws the line at alcoholics. They are too toxic. Not to mention obnoxious.

Juicing and even more healthy eating are before me. This morning I juiced carrots, beets, cabbage, dandelion, fennel, broccoli, apples, and oranges. It takes FOREVER to wash, juice, and clean up. I was going to blog but I had to juice. That’ll be my excuse now for everything. “Oh sorry……I can’t

  • Run for governor
  • Clean
  • Do laundry
  • Drive the speed limit
  • Keep appointments

I have to juice.”

Think of the things I’ll get out of. I may have the liver for this after all.

Copyright © 2010


  1. You simply amaze me, Robynn! If I were going through what you are experiencing, I don't think I could muster up even one little iota of a humorous sentence, let alone a whole humorous blog!

    You had me smiling from ear-to-ear even while wincing that my dear Blogland friend is not doing well! I hope the juicing works for you and that you and your liver get back to normal real soon!


  2. Thankyou for noticing I was missing it means alot to me.My friend losing her battle with cancer has been hard to accept but now I just have been praying for her to be released from her pain and I know she didn't like me worrying she wants me to enjoy living and my family.
    Now for your post I laughed which was needed over the cartoon and I have taken the ambulance ride no fun.
    What juicer did you buy I'm sure I need to juice as well.((((Hugging You)))Darcy

  3. I have to ask how did juiced carrots, beets, cabbage, dandelion, fennel, broccoli, apples, and oranges taste?
    I'm glad your doing better:)Darcy

  4. Oh no, poor you! So glad that your sense of humour is intact, even if the rest of you isn't...

    Keep well, my friend.

  5. Wow! What some people will do to get out of work! So funny! But...I hope you're doing okay and are things are getting better.

  6. Are you doing the liver cleanse? My husband did that a few months ago and felt 100% better! I did it a couple of weeks ago, but I guess my liver wasn't fatty like his. :) I felt somewhat better, but no big change.

  7. Golly, a dose of Robynn is better than penicillin! I have missed you! TERRIBLY!!

  8. Oh you poor thing. Good thing you do have a small sense of humor. OK, not so small. And that's why I like you. :)

  9. Oh My! I admire you attitude! Being able to look past our difficulties and find humor as well as the hidden lessons is a valuable thing and you have it in spade my friend.

    I will be praying that you will feel better very soon and that you will find joy in the juice!


  10. I missed you, Robynn, and I'm sorry to hear that it was illness that kept you down. I figured it was deciding to start a second blog that did it. You are definitely in my prayers and can't wait to see how funny you can make ANYTHING! Blessings to you, along with hugs.

  11. You certainly do have a wonderful sense of humor about all of this, Robynn. Take care and be well, my friend!

  12. ooohhhhh,... I'm concerned about you, my friend! I hear the seriousness of this through your comedy routine. Please do everything exactly as doc says,.. ok? Juice away and to heck with running for Governor! :)

  13. Oh, my you did not mention the ambulance ride to me!
    From one concerned Loopy Liver to another, I'm heading back over to that site and then emailing you girl!

  14. So happy to have you back but so sorry for your uncooperative liver!!!

    Hope you feel better very soon!!!

  15. Oh no! I hope you get to feeling better soon. Big Hugs!

  16. I was wondering what was happening. Get well soon Robynn!

  17. My goodness! You have had a horrible time of late, Dear Blog Friend!

    Your humor does help us, and I hope helps you also.

    Hang in there, we are all pulling for you!


  18. I was wondering where you were!!! So glad you're going to be ok, and on your way to being svelte. :-)

  19. I was just wondering where you were! Worrying just a bit. I stopped by just yesterday to make sure my feeds were working.

    Sorry to hear that you have been ill!! Juicing doesn't sound like much fun...

  20. I wondered where you went! Dang ol liver!

  21. Oh I am sorry to hear this. Poor you. If your liver is having this much trouble I can only imagine what kind of shape mine is in.
    I hope things get under control. I love vegetables but don't think I would get around to juicing them. I think it would be easier to Run for governor. Clean. Do laundry. Drive the speed limit. Keep appointments.

  22. Robynn!...Bless your...I was going to say heart...but bless your liver!
    You have been going through all this and we didn't (or at least I didn't) know.... I'm truly very sorry. I know that you had the colonoscopy.....and nuff said about Movie Prep (they should name it something else)...but to endure what is happening now with your liver really has me concerned.
    I am going to pray for you...and to pray that you recover quickly.
    Take care of you, dear Robynn.

  23. Thank you so much all of you! Have missed you and missed knowing what's going on with you. My liver and I are on speaking terms and do not worry about me. I'm really fine. I never do anything halfway. You should know drama would be involved if I was there. I'm sure my liver just wants to be the center of attention. I think it may be the Paris Hilton of my body. Really, nothing else qualifies.

  24. Ohhh,my... I hope you get to feeling better soon!Funny blog though...You're going to have to stay away from those doctors,they'll kill ya!

    Keep on Truckin!

  25. I'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through all that!

    Hope everything co-operates now and you won't have troubles like that again.

  26. Bless your heart! or I should say liver!
    You certainly had a round of it. I do hope you are feeling better.

    How did that juice really taste??

    Take care.
    Have a great day.

  27. So very sorry to hear about your liver troubles! But happy to see a new blog post from you -- you've been missed, Friend!

  28. So did you buy a special juicer? Does that juice taste good? Will you lose weight? Does that special concoction make you make strange noises? You're not alone, I have a fatty liver too. Matches the rest of me, too, just like you! You sure are good for what ails me! Let us know how it goes! Love ya, Robynn!!!

  29. Gosh-I stop blog hopping for a month or two, and miss EVERYTHING!
    Sending my prayers, for you and your liver.

  30. You have certainly made your health very funny. Don't the laughs hurt your stitches?

    Getting Reacquainted in 55

  31. Had to quickly scroll down through the comments to see if you had commented yourself... as was worried by your post... funny as it was. Glad to see you are really OK. You make sure you take care of yourself... and keep juicing! Lots of lovexxx

  32. Hi Robbyn
    So sorry to hear you have been crook. Do take care of that liver - it's the bit that keeps your body clean on the inside.
    Try juicing these chilled - 1 apple, 1 orange, 1 carrot, 1 small raw beetroot and 1 stick of celery. It is earthy but you can feel it doing you good as you drink it.

    Hope your slowly getting back to your old self - take it easy, friend.

    Cheers - Joolz

  33. Well...Did Bo go???

    Just wondering...So glad to here your back up and kind of running even if it is the juicer.

    I have juiced Kale and Ginger gain flexibility in my martial arts. It is just DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!.

    Do glad your feeling at least a little better.

    I have missed your posts.

  34. I'm sorry to hear about your liver! Really, he needs to get with the act. :)

    Hope you're up and better soon.

  35. I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles but your sense of humor and your outlook on life is positively inspiring. Here's to a very healthy new year.

  36. Robynn, you've won a blog award!

    Please, stop by my blog to pick it up.

    Have a great week! - Angie

  37. Girl, you always manage to amaze me! You've been going through this stuff, and you still manage to keep your sense of humor going full-tilt! Which means you've got GUTS, ya know! Even if they are fatty and engorged ones that make you wear your stretchy pants. ;-)

    Oh hun... how I've missed ya! (which is my fault and not yours, of course)
    I'll just slip some (butter free) toast unbder the door, shall I?

  38. Hope you're kicking that liver's butt and will be returning to us when you feel up to it. Until then - hugs and prayers.

  39. Just wondering how my friend is... you OK? xxxxx

  40. Dear Robynn,
    How are you doing, girl? Is your "Paris Hilton liver" behaving itself?

    We are missing you here, but don't worry about us. We'll be waiting for you. Just take care of yourself and get back on your feet real soon.

    *Hugs and Prayers*

  41. Yeah, Robynn

    Hope things are okay with you. Give us a shout out and say g'day!

    Love, Joolz

  42. Your ability to turn the detestabling things of life into a humorous story amazes me..then I feel a tad guilty at laughing, for I know there's really nothing funny at all about being sick and in pain. What a gift from God, your sense of humor...your very zany sense of humor!