Saturday, November 21, 2009

Kryptonite

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Humor is my super power.

It’s not that I claim to be so hysterically entertaining or funny. It’s that humor is the “S” on my chest. It gets me through the toughest times and keeps me seeing the upside, or the irony, while it fuels my optimism. I rely on it heavily to diffuse nearly every difficult situation of my life.

But then there’s kryptonite. And existing within inches of it for several weeks or having it force fed to me has had crippling effects.

It’s not the death of my stepfather. We had an amiable (though complicated) relationship, but he wasn’t ever a father figure to me. He married my mother when I’d been gone from home for four years and he never had children of his own. He didn’t have fatherly ways. He enjoyed limited time with my kiddos, in small doses, but he and my mother built a very tight little world for themselves that didn’t really have room for others. And that was okay because my mom and I do best with one another when we visit only occasionally. We have far too much traumatizing history and, because it’s truly pointless to confront or try to change anything (I know – I tried for years), I simply move forward when history is continually revised and regurgitated in my presence. And I suck on my kryptonite tablet while moving closer to the precipice.

And I nearly fell over it and crashed to the bottom.

Thank God for trees that grow close to craggy cliff sides and insist on pushing roots out into thin air. As I began to tumble, one of those tree roots caught me and that’s where I’ve been hanging, but it's also what saved me.

Strangely enough, my tree root was my kids getting majorly sick. High temps, deep coughs, too sick to read or even play a computer game. They came down with what Grizzly and I had two months ago. I had hoped, back then, that The Wild Man had the same thing we had even though his symptoms were different, but I was wrong. And Bo never did get sick during that siege. They both made up for it. Grizzly and I were immune because we had already had it. Quite sure it was H1N1. The university where Bo is attending has had a clinic just to test for it, it’s been so prolific. But she was too sick to get there.

I was called back to fulltime, hands-on mothering, because being younger, they were hit even harder than we were.

And all the tending and nighttime vigils and forehead mopping and praying brought me back to reality. And it gave me space to spit out the kryptonite and a legitimate reason to be away from the source. In so doing, I began to recover. And friends provided food and support and cards and conversation - and the thing I was lowest on - humor.

And I’ve received the sweetest comments and emails from you all. You’ve taken the time to pray for me, for us, to check in – to drop another note. And I began to remember why writing was important to me, even if I couldn’t find any words worth jotting down. I’m not sure these qualify but it’s a start.

So, hello. I’m back. Not fully there but on the road. I know you understand. I’ll be by to visit soon and hopefully, not from the computer in the solarium at the insane asylum.

I’m limiting my time with Lex Luthor.

© 2009

30 comments:

  1. My dear Auntie Robynn! I am so glad to hear that you and your family are on the mend. I will continue to pray for continued healing of all kinds.

    "Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you." (2 Thes. 3:16)

    I love you :)
    Kaylee bean

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  2. It is best to stay away from krytonite when you don't have a lead shield. It can't be defeated. Take your time. Rest up and recover.

    Silly Saturday #7 - Charm or Chores?

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  3. You, Robynn, are made of stronger stuff than Superman, I KNOW, because you have Faith at your core, which is the Amazing Anti-Kryptonite. You have certainly had plenty thrown at you lately, and I'm so happy to hear you are on the way back up to Full-On Robynn! Yes, your friends have had your back the whole way. I missed you when you were gone, but I never lost heart that you would be back...

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  4. Robynn, I have missed you so much! I'm glad you are back...You are my favorite superwoman!!! And your humor carries us ALL through dark days!!! I pray that God lifts you as you lift us!!! You are a gem!! And I truly treasure you!!! Love you so much!! Welcome home, my friend!! And best wishes for a wonderful Thanksgiving with your most loved ones!!! ~Janine XOXOXO

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  5. Well, if the H1N1 doesn't put you in the insane asylum, you're golden. One of my boys had either that or regular flu, and the 24 year old was running around him yelling "OINK!" Talk about the inmates running the asylum! Hey, buy one of those premade Thanksgiving dinners from the store, so you don't have to do all the work, and salvage whatever normalcy you can from the week. If that doesn't work, Thor will come drool on you. Doggy drools are magic. Best wishes from the chilly, rainy (and Thankfully, NOT snowy) east coast!

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  6. Girl, you KNOW that you and I have Eagle Powers, so I know that you'll get through this. It just hurts when our kids are sick though... doesn't it?

    I'll keep right on a-prayin'... and when that day comes that we DO meet,(maybe April??) you'll recognize me by the callus's on my knee caps!

    Lovin' you heaps,
    xoxoxox
    Katie

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  7. Sorry to hear about the flu and hope everyone stays well now. Have a blessed Thanksgiving.

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  8. It is good to see you! I was beginning to worry. I am sorry about the kids being so sick! Let's hope this is the end of it!!

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  9. Robynn! I am so happy to see you return!!!! But I am also saddened by finding out this situation was exactly as I feared. I prayed for you to be shielded in some way from your crushing history. And now I hope that the kiddos are better and that you too are on the mend! I will continue to keep you in my prayers!!

    I will email Teacher's Pet :)

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  10. Sass, it must be something going around... my world, too, has been slipping that dang kryptonite in my iced tea and sapping my strength. Like you, I keep clawing and scratching to pull myself back into life.

    Just know if you don't here from me very much for a while, I'm still with you in my heart and head...

    Helen

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  11. Dearest Robynn....so good to see you back writing. Please dear continue to take your time getting back. As Janine said.....you are our favorite.
    The Lord and time will bring full healing and a joy back to your heart.
    I continue to pray for you daily.
    Take care dear friend.
    P.S. I stirred the pot,and were lost in the kitchen!!!
    Love, Pamela

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  12. Robynn..I love the way you write.
    I'm not a writer...but I love to read good writing. You have a keen sense of humor even during difficult times....and I do pray for you and your family. I am so sorry that your children were sick...and hope that you continue to mend and get stronger. The part of your blog that I really found wonderful was the analogy of the trees growing close to the craggy cliffs. Thank God for the net...and sometimes it takes us time to look back to see that the net was a net and not a 'nettle'...
    You are a prolific writer...and a good Mother. May God continue to bless and keep you.
    If you want to e-mail me,I would love for you do to that. You can do that at the following address:
    eab1950@bellsouth.net
    A fellow blogger that we both love told me that you didn't have my address. When you feel like it, I would love to hear from you.
    Take care of you...
    Smiles from Jackie

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  13. Oh gosh - the flu on top of everything else... You're so strong to see it as the silver lining behind the clouds.

    So overjoyed to hear that somewhere up ahead you can see a small light.

    And yes - humour is definitely your superpower!

    Hugs and prayers to you and yours.

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  14. So that's why we haven't heard from you! When it rains, it pours, eh? But you have an 'anchor' and He's holding you amid the storms of life. So just keep hanging onto Him and you'll be safe.

    Hugs, dear friend!

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  15. sorry for your loss. thankful that you are getting well! take it easy and slow as you get back into the swing of things!

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  16. Life does have a way of supplying what we need even if it is not what we would expect...so sorry about your kids getting so sick...I hope they recover soon!!!

    Do take it slow, I know you are made of sturdy stuff but...we wouldn't want you to overtire yourself and get sick yourself...we will wait patiently for you!
    Heather

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  17. Hello! I am Shigune Matsui! I have a new blog at http://musingslovetea.blogspot.com/ please follow and leave a comment if you like!

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  18. Hi Robyn! So glad you back in bloggersville. I understand completely how the cares and needs of life must come first. Hope everyone stays well at your house! So sorry about your stepfather--and I also understand the complicated feelings of a less than ideal relationship with a mom--my mother has always been a difficult personality, but I must say that dealing with how Alzheimer's is diminishing her, I have a softened heart and attitude towards her. I do truly believe that the Lord is a restorer and healer in every way. Hugs, V.

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  19. They say troubles come in threes and fours and that is certainly true in our family. But now I am turning everything round into blessings. That seems to be catching round here because everyone is doing it, counting their blessings. And now with you advice on turning everything into humour as well......there is no time to be lost. Count blessings and try to see the funny side. It has to be the way out of the doldrums : )

    Nuts in May

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  20. Isn't it true how sometimes, even tho sickness has its miseries and worries and complications (and grossness sometimes!), it can also be that totally legitimate reason to just STOP other stuff, remove yourself from other things in life that have called loudly and incessantly, and wrap yourself up in your own four walls for a while... When you and your family are ready to venture out again, we'll look forward to being with you!
    Lori

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  21. Oh I hope your kids are recovering well. You sound like a terrific mum. Someone once said that God never gives you more than you can cope with but when I have been in the thick of it, I wonder was that person deluded. But in time it all comes right. May peace and harmony return to your lives soon. Hugs dear lady. X

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  22. Glad you're getting back. Humor is a major help to me as well...even in the midst of my troubles these last couple of weeks, what helped sustained me was the irony I saw in my own situation!

    (Sidenote: This is the first time I've ever seen the word verification be an actual word: "excuse.")

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  23. I'm so sorry about the flu, but happy you have a break from evil destroying minerals.

    You are in my prayers.

    Linda
    http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com/

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  24. So good to see you .. hoping everyone is better soon and your funny bone gets healed .. xo

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  25. I'm so sorry, sweet friend. I wish there were easy ways to go around hurt instead of through it, but I haven't discovered one yet. Just know that in the middle of it, in the center of the storm of hurt, you have people who care about you and will be here when you come out the other side.

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  26. Welcome back, Super Robyn.

    I too am back from a long journey of self discovery, soon to start blogging again as well.

    ((hugs))

    AK

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  27. Robynn......please head on over to http://seedsofnutrition.com/?p=4018 to link up and pick up your blog awards I nominated you to receive.
    Love you dear sister, Pamela

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  28. Hang in there!!! Wish I could beam you some chicken noodle soup, you all sound like you could use it. :-) Hugs and prayers!

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  29. Glad you and the others are feeling better!
    And I hope you continue to drag yourself up from the cliffs edge!

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  30. Robyn God is Good all the time and provides what we need plus sometimes giving us the out we need, an out that we can allow ourselves to take I should say.

    So sorry for the sickness and the other stress. But so glad you are up and running.

    May God Bless and Keep you daily.

    Many Blessings
    B.J. Brooks Robinson

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