Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A Bear Market - Part 1

If a bear is in the forest and eats everything in your car, do your dogs hear it?

I'm thinking about that this morning after reading a post at From Single to Married in which she talks about her good watch dog. No one loves their dogs more than I love mine but, the reality is, JoJo is only incensed about people breathing or moving when she's wide awake. When she's asleep, all bets are off.

I once called Jojo to give her a hug goodnight. The rest of the inmates here at the asylum had already bunked down. No Jojo. I called again. Nothing. I searched from room to room and called outside, up and down the street. MIA. I shook the over-sized bed bugs out of their sheets and mounted a posse. I didn't want to panic alone. Flip flops were employed. Car engines started. Frantic hollering commenced. No Jo. In one final moment before complete bedlam prevailed, my son, the Wild Man, threw his covers around looking for his coat. There was Jo, tucked in, eyes rolled back in her head, sound asleep, and oblivious. She lifted heavy lids and peered out just long enough to say, "HeLLO. I was warm. Could you knock it off and put the blanket back?!"

It was just this type of edge-of-your-seat, sound-the-alarm guarding that allowed a mother bear, and her two cubs, to grocery shop in our car one night while we were camping.

I don't know about you but I think most moms sleep with one ear open from the minute the doctor says, "It's a girl! Or a boy!" Dads, on the other hand, tend to only wake up in the middle of the night when you, sleep deprived and weary from nursing the baby, roll over and latch that baby on to HIS chest. If you haven't tried this, you should.

Thus, my now normal sleep state is to hear dust collecting on the furniture. And when you are camping in the black of night, in the middle of the forest, and you hear a "thunk" in your sleep, even though neither of your two watch-less dogs perk up an ear, and your husband snores on in near comatose disregard, you trust your gut.

"Grizzly.....did you hear that?"

Now, I have to tell you that Grizzly may sleep like the dead but the moment there is an opportunity to use flashlights, guns, knives, bazookas, or inter-gallactic missiles, he is awake. Immediately. And armed.

"What'd you hear?!" he instantly interrogated.

"Well, I don't know but I just thought I heard a "thunk" outside, by the car," I stated cautiously as he seared my retinas with his flashlight. Now he was ripping open the zipper on the tent.

"Robynn, stay where you are," he ordered, staring through the door flap. "There are bears in the car." It would seem relevant, at this point, for you to know the dogs still weren't barking and were, in fact, snoring right beside the kids.

Now the statement, "There are bears in the car" is not a sentence I had ever considered forming or hearing. So I had never presupposed my response. I did, however, immediately know it did not include staying where I was. I don't tend to run away from things that scare me anyway; I run toward them because being scared just makes me spitting mad. And I had children to protect. And Cheetos. And Hostess Ding Dongs.

What I wasn't prepared for was what I saw next.......

To Be Continued......

Copyright 2009


  1. I will return tomorrow!!! Can't wait to hear the rest. Love your postings, always so great to read.

  2. What did you see??? What did you see??? (can you tell on on the edge of my seat?!?)

  3. That's funny. AND SCARY!
    Darn, I can't wait until tomorrow. What DID you see next?

  4. NOOOOOOOOOO! Don't do this to us! (well, mostly me, but I'm trying to be nice and include everyone here)
    I have the attention span of a gnat anyway, so I'll have to start at the beginning - you cruel, cruel woman!

    And Ding Dongs??? Did you say DING DONGS? Shoot, That's another thing to add to the stash of stuff I'll be drooling over. *sob sob sob*

  5. Cliffhanger! Love it!

    And thanks for the awards. So very sweet of you. I love that you introduced me to some new blogs to read too.

    And yes, I noticed you said Cheetos and Ding Dongs ... oh man ... I can't tell you how long it's been since I've had those. Unwrapping the foil on the Ding Dongs and sticking my finger in the center ... the orange "cheese" on my fingers from the Cheetos ... throw in a Pepsi and some Junior Mints ... and it's a party!

  6. Hey, check out my latest post, thanking you and the Academy!

  7. Hmmm.. that's a mean cliffhanger! Dying to know what happens! Especially since my children are pretending it's coyote season right now, and making a racket, hunting coyotes with their swords, so I now I have a bear/coyote combination thing going in my head. :-)

  8. oh... you can't do that, leave us hanging I mean! What a great story (I'm assuming it's great since you lived to tell about it). :)

    thanks for the shout out too!

  9. Ok Robynn...this is one way to get your numbers higher! Keep the curious coming back!! Me for starters!
    But ya know...here anyhow, once the kids had been gone, college behind them, I started making up for years of sleep deprivation..and now it's Cowboys turn!! Yippee!!

  10. Ha, to the rest of your readers! I know the rest of this story. That wasn't very nice was it. I've never been accused of being too overly nice anyway! Alas, I am looking forward to reading it tomorrow!
    love you

  11. One thing great about being behind... you don't have to wait for the next installment!

  12. Aaccckkk! Oh wait, I am behind on reading. I will just jump to the next installment of this story. Bye. Right now I am going to the next one. okay